Vital Signs PDA kit

I want a full-spectrum real-time analysis of myself, in a kit, on the cheap. I want wires that are easy to stick and unstick, and a software/hardware interface that is usable and smart. Temperature, blood pressure, skin resistance, heart rate/pulse, the works. Collect the data on a standard issue PDA/Smartphone and let me analyze my own data. Not so that I can diagnose my own diseases, but to observe myself more clearly. Meditation help, stress reduction, jogging companion.