Wednesday, May 14, 2014

I take great pride is saying I did the dishes today.

In a very real sense I also created a space where actual world peace flourishes immediately.

I actually did the dishes earlier this morning.  I'm going to have done the dishes again this evening, so as usual the dishes are never actually "done" in a very real way.

I also came to the conclusion that my campaign for world peace by the end of 2014 just got a whole lot simpler. Dish Peace by 2014.

Metaphorically and in real life these dishes must be done, and since you're here, you might as well just do the dishes.

You gotta get good at something with relation to the dwelling in a home of almost any sort.  You need to be an expert in at least one field of household maintenance.  I have chosen dishes.

You can also cook, sweep, vacuum, shake, wash, do the bathrooms.  You can also fix, paint, and upgrade.  I just know I can do the dishes well, and I like doing them.

Just do the dishes.  If you have time to do more, so be it.
Perhaps you already realized that if you do the dishes, you are also involved with the preparation of the meal in some way.  That's two awesome tasks to accomplish every day.  Food and dishes.  The rest is pure gravy.   Dishes and Painting? Nearly grounds for sainthood.

Dishes are the second most basic sign of love between two people, and it's the most useful by far.  If you cook, you love with food.  If you do the dishes, you love with hygiene.

More love in every single household on earth with dishes?
More peace on earth immediately possible.

Spread the word and do the dishes.

(This first essay on the topic of "doing the dishes" was done after making sure the actual dishes were done.)


"Locally and globally, the dishes must be done.
These dishes, they must be done.
They must be done, these dishes.
Those dishes? Do those too.
Dishes, they don't just do themselves."

Just do the dishes first

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Archimedes Greek Yogurt

Yogurt containers aren't currently designed to do much more than hold yogurt.  True, "yogurt in a tube" is nearly perfect in terms of being industrially designed for maximum yogurt removal.  However, you must be a NASA engineer, a pro cyclist, or a toddler in order to look even remotely cool while evacuating a tube of hypercolor yogurt product into your gullet.

While I'm at it, here's another major issue I know you're thinking about:  Why can't there be some kind of cool everyday off-the-shelf container that can also be used as a water pump, air pump, or a cheap splash weapon?


Now you can actually have it all with my new pre-Kickstarted innovation,  "Archimedes Greek Yogurt".  The yogurt comes in a much more sturdy plastic or vegetable resin container that  sports a single groove running around and down the side of the container.  It resembles a screw.

When you're done with your delicious Greek yogurt, you simply scrape your spoon at a 45 degree angle along the inside channel of the container all the way to the bottom.  All the yogurt rescued in one 15 second activity.

The container is then much cleaner for rinsing as well, which you'll need to do when you will be re-using it as a stomp rocket foot pump.  Or a cheap accordion. Or an Edison Phonograph Cylinder. Or an Archimedes screw. Or a water container.  You can also recycle it.  Whatever you want. Booyakashah, and thank you.