In all the election hubbub, I discovered a somewhat disturbing fact. No, I am talking about Bob Barr. I'm talking about how little we all know about each other's business lives. Sometimes we like to keep it to ourselves, and I can dig that, but I'm not that guy.
But what kind of guy are you, Aaron? Well, I'll tell you:
I'm a Residential Energy Consultant. What the heck is that? What I do is listen to you and your house and tell you how best to reduce your utility bills and increase your happiness. I'm like the House Whisperer. I rehabilitate homes and train homeowners.
How do I do that?
I come to your home, drink some of your tea (and your milkshake should you offer) and I delve into the energy world of your home and its inhabitants. I look at your wattage, tell you what your appliances are saying to you in terms of dollars, listen to your furnace's complaints, and wrap it all up in a report that tells you how to upgrade the efficiency of your home with a customized, prioritized, energy to-do list.
What does it cost?
It's start-up time in my business, so I am doing these audits for $250 each. This is my early-bird discount, as the price will go up $100 in 2009. If you can't afford even the discounted price, we can discuss trade for services as well.
As an incentive, I offer my personal guarantee: If after 6 months post-audit you:
A) Don't have lower energy bills
B) Don't have a lower carbon footprint
C) Aren't a happier person,
I will return $200 of my bill. I have to hit one of those three or you get my audit for $50. Deal?
I want you (whoever you are) to lower your bills and save the planet this winter rather than next spring, so email me ASAP. firstname.lastname@example.org, btw.
Vote Obama, and email me for more details and energy audit scheduling.